#we can see what you say about us on the internet | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

drdemonprince · 3 days ago

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I see you post against the global blackout on insta and I understand the sentiment, that it doesn’t make a difference but actually we’ve got major Palestinian civilian advocacy groups saying This is what we’re doing and why, and it feels like the West goes “oh there’s no point let’s not bother”. But in actual fact it’s Something. Which is better than nothing. It’s so easy for us to say it’s not worth it. Because we don’t want to give up a day of paid work, social media and online shopping. But when people in Palestine and the major charities actually on the ground working with them want this, isn’t it actually a show of solidarity regardless of our views on it, the actual impact, and our own in inconvenience? Regardless of impact.

Not shopping for one day isn't all that inconvenient. I don't know about you but I have no buy days all the time. It's not much of a sacrifice, if a person wants to do it and feels that it's a good exercise or symbolic or what-have-you, they should do what they feel is right. But showing respect to a people and a cause means being willing to discuss tactics, express disagreement, identify whose political ideals are in alignment with yours, and convey what one personally thinks is right.

Just because a person is Palestinian doesn't mean that their political ideology or theory of how political change happens aligns with your own, or with any kind of leftist politics. There are a great many Palestinian public figures who are not in any way revolutionary or liberationist. The majority of the charities that exist in Gaza are created and controlled by people in imperial countries, and all these charities operate with harsh restrictions placed upon them that limit how challenging to the existing status quo they can be. Many of them have explicit policies of normalizing the apartheid regime.

And just because a person is affected directly by the genocide doesn't mean they have expertise in tactics or economics -- in fact, it is outrageous that the entire Western world is relying upon a people who are actively being genocided, still, to give us our marching orders and plan our wing of resistance for us. Solidarity isn't just standing around waiting for a people in crisis to tell you what to do. It's organizing and tacting action, lending your support, your expertise, your money, your time, taking a stand for something, asking questions, suggesting alternatives, proposing new acts, participating actively in resistance on every level.

It's also important to keep in mind that the calls we see that come from Palestinians the most often are the ones who have been elevated to the status of Influencer or Head of a Nonprofit-- with all the competing motivations and financial and social incentives that involves. We are not hearing from a lot of Palestinian people on the ground who lack a sizeable platform, who do not have internet or phone access, and whose organizing and resistance take forms that are not social media friendly. The call to "listen to Palestinian voices" is a lot more complex than simply doing what a person on social media -- even a number of popular figures! -- has to say. No person or group can speak for a whole people, or a whole movement.

I believe that taking a single day off from shopping is appealing because it asks so little. It demands almost no organizational work or effort from Americans. It's inert and ineffectual, provably so, but something a person can pat themselves on the back for doing and then go back to their day. It's like almost every form of "activism" that has been promoted on social media for years now -- and it's telling that people won't learn, won't build the infrastructure necessary to make something more dramatic or longer-lasting happen, that members of the imperial core just keep sitting around on social media expecting other people to tell us what we should do to end the imperialism and genocide we are complicit in.

We need to do a whole lot more than not shopping for one day, and we need to do a lot of things that cannot be posted about on social media.

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covid-safer-hotties · 7 hours ago

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The internet has taught me many things; how to start a crochet project I will inevitably abandon, how much I can cry about ancient animals dying together in a burrow, and how persistent and well-accepted eugenics is in our society. Now it’s usually around the time I drop the e word in casual conversations that people’s eyes glaze over and their feet start shuffling back. A comment section is irreparably derailed when eugenics enters the chat. You, yourself, might be considering closing the tab and calling it a day. What’s so silly about these reactions is that I (or other disabled people like me) am rarely, if ever, the first one to bring it up. You are. And that’s because the lexicon of eugenics thinking is widespread, insidious, and learned. It rolls off the tongue or into the keyboard with such unconscious precision that any mention of its connection to its historical roots is met with immediate disavowment. But if writer Marie-Helene Bertino’s quote is to be believed—“what we love, we mention”—then y’all love eugenics. Given our most recent past, nowhere is this love more apparent than how we collectively speak about viruses. It’s there in RFK Jr. leading the MAHA charge against vaccines despite benefitting from them himself, and it’s there in wellness influencers tackling your post-viral fatigue by repackaging the Protestant Work Ethic as a manifestation series (for only $899!), and it’s there in the public health messaging that says “it only affects these people” that infers that these people might be an acceptable loss. (See: HIV, Monkeypox.) The name of this Substack is inspired by Dr. Fauci’s infamous “the vulnerable will fall by the wayside” quote for a reason. But it’s not just people in charge or influencers with big platforms relying on the death of disabled people (and others) to earn money or political favor. It’s every day, in every conversation, in every political group. It’s everyone, it’s you, and it’s me, too.

#mask up #public health #wear a mask #wear a respirator #still coviding #covid #covid 19 #coronavirus #pandemic #sars cov 2 #eugenics #covid eugenics #stop covid eugenics

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corpocyborg · 1 day ago

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Regarding The Busts in Gortash's Office

So because I'm endlessly obsessive, I did what I said I would do & wrote down the names and descriptions of all of the people that Gortash has busts of in his office because they seem to be people he admires so I wanted to analyze them, as one does when one is endlessly obsessive. I also did additional research on the ones that I could find more information about. Here they are, and some of my own thoughts on why they might have been included (under a read more because it's long because, again, obsessive).

Baron Alec Bormul - First of the Bormul patriar family to start his own venture, Alec is the unscrupulous bastard who made their fortune in mines and vineyards.

Now, as far as I can find, this is the only information we have about this character. However, there are several other Bormul family members that exist in the game (including an NPC called Callem Bormul who is present at Gortash's ordaining ceremony). The one that stands out more to me though is Ilza Bormul, who is mentioned in the in-game book "Baldur's Gate and the Dialectics of Plunder" and stated to own "slave-labour mines in the mountains of Amn". Presumably therefore Alec is an "unscrupulous bastard" due to the use of slave labor. Not particularly surprising Gortash would approve of that since he is a known slaver himself. Interestingly, that same book also mentions Xeremiah Eltan, who is another of the busts in the office, as another example of the fact that Baldur's Gates patriar families are all founded by blood and immorality (which the author of the book says no one ever talks about). So I imagine both busts are also included as confirmation of his worldview that no one innocent ever gets far in life. I think it's also notable here that Gortash chose to commemorate the "first" of the family who "started his own venture". We know he loves a self-made man, no matter how brutal his path was. Commodore Morgan Redlocks - Baldur's Gate ship captain Morgan Redlocks wed a man thrice her age. After the wedding, the groom suffered a heart attack. Redlocks converted his merchant ships into a pirate fleet.

Unfortunately not a character that I can find any more information about, but how much do you want to bet that she killed her husband? I mean, come on. He has a heart attack so soon after the wedding that he's still being referred to as the "groom" and not the husband? Plus it wouldn't even remotely surprise me that Gortash would appreciate a subtle femme fatale assassin. Also, of fucking course he would admire a pirate. Magnate Carric Ilphescient - Carric started from nothing, built a financial empire, and founded the Counting House. He refused to mingle with the other patriars, saying, "They didn't want me when I was an urchin, and now they can't have me."

Another self-made man, and one who does not mince words about it. Easy to imagine that that quote reflected Gortash's own mentality. Only other reference I could find to him was in an in-game book in the Counting House called "Record of the Honoured" but all it tells us is that he did in fact found the Counting House. The Cockeyed Stranger - This is a bust of the god Bane as he first appeared to Gortash in dreams, and was then described to a Rivington sculptor.

Bane is obviously a far more established D&D character than anyone else here, so I could write a whole page just about Bane and how I imagine Gortash sees him. I swear I've seen a bit of loading screen flavor text in BG3 that states that when Bane was a mortal man, he was originally a battleslave of Mephistopheles, but it is possible that I'm wrong about that because I cannot find confirmation of this lore anywhere on the internet. (If anyone else has seen that loading screen flavor text, please confirm so I know I'm not hallucinating!) But if it is true, then it's immensely clear what Gortash sees in him. Gortash's whole thing is he absolutely loves the idea of someone who started from the bottom and rose to the top through sheer ruthlessness. He likes the idea of overthrowing his oppressors and taking their place. As a whole, Bane's doctrine also fits Gortash really well. The Forgotten Realms Wiki says that Bane "embodied the principles of ambition and control and believed that the strong had not only the right, but the duty, to rule over the weak." I can easily imagine Gortash having the same mentality. Bane is also known for being a lot more open to having alliances than is typical for an evil god, but he always makes sure he ends up on top. (I could write a whole other analysis about how the original plan hatched by Gortash, Durge, & Ketheric leaves Gortash in the best position. Ketheric gets to be a fearsome conquering general, Durge (later Orin) gets to spread chaos in the streets, but Gortash is the one who ends up being the hero who can actually not only have the benefit of his legitimate ruthlessness but also the benefit of it remaining hidden! By far the best position in the alliance. Orin actually is mad about this (she gives a little speech to Durge about how Gortash betrayed them because all her murders only drive the people of Baldur's Gate into the arms of his Steel Watch) but it is implied that Durge didn't think of it the same way since those were always the terms of the plan... something that always makes me wonder about what exactly it is that Durge & Gortash originally had planned in the long-term. Were they really just both always planning to betray the other eventually? Because I'm honestly not so sure about that. I think they're both too smart for that. But I digress.) Dame Amafrey Ephemial - Dame Amafrey, the Orphans' Friend, founded several orphanages in the Outer City, as the Lower City was no place for children (and the Upper City declined to sponsor an orphanage).

Okay, this is by far the black sheep in the set. A philanthropist? Seemingly without an ulterior motive? Why is she included here? I mean, on the one hand, I could almost believe that Gortash is sympathetic to the plights of children in a way he wouldn't be for adults (since he suffered so much as a child & since children don't have as many ways to help themselves and take responsibility as adults do), but on the other hand, it is so deeply inconsistent with his character too. But then again, maybe he's just a hypocrite. Maybe this really is some sort of secret soft side. Or perhaps it has more to do with the fact that she seemed to be bogged down by the corruption around her (the Upper City declined to sponsor an orphanage) so maybe he keeps her bust around as a reminder that good intentions don't get you far enough. I genuinely don't know with this one, and I was unable to find any more info about Dame Ephemial. Grand Duke Eltan - Founder of the Flaming Fist. Later history is kinder to him than accounts from his time, which portray him as a cruel and hard-handed mercenary commander.

According to the same in-game book mentioned previously (Baldur's Gate and the Dialectics of Plunder), he "founded the Flaming Fist as a ruthless mercenary company that slaughtered and burned for pay along the entire length of the Sword Coast". He is also a character in the first Baldur's Gate game and the expansion Baldur's Gate: Siege of Dragonspear. According to the Forgotten Realms Wiki, he was Lawful Neutral and he was known as "steadfast and principled" because of his "tactical genius" and "a sincere belief in maintaining the balance of power among the many small kingdoms of Faerûn". Also apparently he survived a whole lot of assassination attempts. Easy to see why Gortash would see this one as a role model, I think. He is described as a "tactical genius" himself. I also think it's interesting that it says that "later history is kinder to him than accounts from his time". I mean, we know Gortash is huge on propaganda and controlling the narrative. I would imagine he cares how he might be remembered.

#pls enjoy by unnecessarily deep analysis it took me forever lol #enver gortash #bg3 #durgetash #implied durgetash anyway... everything i say is implied durgetash

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kangaracha · 8 hours ago

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QUEENMAKER | CHAPTER 27

---

pairing chan x reader

genre ninth member au, angst, fluff, coming of age, social media, cancel culture, anxiety, depression, forbidden love,

summary To JYPE, the solution is simple; take the sole trainee that will not debut with your brand new girl group, and use her to replace the missing vocalist in your male group that insisted on starting as nine.

Unfortunately, to the fans and the members themselves, it isn't that simple.

status ongoing

taglist OPEN

previous | masterlist | next

---

Christmas flies past you in such a hurry that you feel like you hardly get to hold onto the joy of it at all - and it is joyful, as bright and as happy as the first one you can remember.

There's the morning in your apartment, sipping coffee and scrolling mindlessly on an internet where, for once, you don't see a single word that twists inside your gut when you read it. Then there's the preparation at work, and the livestream, full of lighthearted games and gift exchanges and you laughing at Felix as he drops the packets of chicken in his box all over the ground, disbelief still painted across his face. And then there's dinner, all together as a family, and the more personal gifts that you didn't give on camera, and the lively talk that carries all of you into the evening without anyone noticing.

You've had good days and bad days in Korea. You're relieved to get to the end of the day and realise that this is one of the better ones.

Your gifts are small and few, but meaningful, different groups of boys pooling together to give you something they truly thought you could use. Headphones, an expensive dress you'd eyed once on a shopping trip, hats to hide under in the airport. Small things you needed but hadn't gotten around to buying, things you'd been doing without until you had the money to invest in them. Your gifts to them had been much smaller, just like your budget; your biggest gift was their dinner and the evening you'd spent cooking it alone. The favourite thing you received was their faces after they'd eaten.

Still, it flies by too fast. You blink, and the day is over, and suddenly you're sitting in the corner of their couch paying minimal attention to the movie playing on the TV and waiting for the clock to finish ticking its way down to midnight. In the other corner, Jisung sits enraptured by the plot, soaking in every moment of the dramatic romance, the Christmas disaster and the miracle you already know is coming right at the end. Even with most of your attention on the conversation happening at the table behind you, you can tell what's about to happen; but you're not here to ruin his night. You're just...soaking it in. Enjoying it.

You're happy.

"What are you watching?" a voice asks behind you, hands leaning heavy on the back of the couch despite the flapping and shushing of Han's hands.

You turn to answer Chan in his stead, finding him leaning there comfortably while he eyes the scene playing out on the TV. "Rom coms," you tell him in a voice that is only just hushed to an acceptable level. "They're supposed to fall in love at some point."

"They are in love," Jisung argues, his eyes leaving the screen only to glare at you. You wonder if he's aware his cheeks puff out with indignation when he does that, completely ruining the effect. "They're just too dumb to realise."

"They're going to get together at the Christmas Ball," you tell Chan, and ignore the way Jisung grumbles about spoilers as he turns back to the movie. "It's so cheesy."

"You didn't want to watch Love Island," Jisung cuts in before Chan can reply.

"I said we should watch Home Alone."

"I told you, I wanted some drama."

"Home Alone is drama."

"Go away then, if you don't want to watch," he huffs in mock exasperation, the laugh that huffs from the back of his throat when you stick out your tongue at him betraying him.

When he turns back to the screen, Chan's hand taps at your shoulder. "The others are walking home now," he says, leaning down as if to mutter conspiracies between you. "Do you want to come with us?"

"With us?" you repeat, though you're already lifting yourself off the couch, stretching out tight muscles as you stand. "Where are you walking to? You're already home?"

"I'm just walking," he answers. "It's a nice night."

You glance at the heavily curtained window. "It's snowing."

"And?" he says. "Snow's nice. We never see snow."

"You should try winter in Melbourne," you snort, amused by the light dancing in his eyes. "So cold it might as well be snowing. Worse than snow, actually."

"You'll be fine walking in the snow then."

A yawn interrupts your put-upon sigh, and all of the effect it would have had. "I just have to grab a coat on the way down," you acquiesce, watching the other boys pulling their coats on by the door.

"Just borrow one of mine." Without waiting for an answer, Chan turns on his heel and disappears into the hallway. You trai after him slowly, meeting him on the way back out his bedroom door, coat in hand. "Try this," he says, and thrusts in at you.

You don't know where your apprehension comes from. Maybe the intimacy of borrowing clothes from someone - maybe just from coming face-to-face with the abject kindness that drives him to offer it to you without a moment's hesitation. It clogs up in your throat anyway, whatever it is, threatening to turn your face red.

You have to force yourself to take the jacket, pulling it on with robotic movements. It hangs loose on your frame, the shoulders drooping sadly down your arms, but it is soft and warm and long enough to cover your hands, disguising your lack of gloves.

"This too," Chan says, and pulls a beanie straight down over your head, covering your eyes. You squawk at the sudden blinding, fighting your sleeves. By the time you have it straight on your head, your hair flat again beneath it, he is dressed too - and still laughing at you, his smile too wide to be innocent. You slap his arm hard enough to bruise. He doesn't even do you the mercy of rubbing it.

"Cute,' he says as you walk back down the hall.

Only the chance of public ridicule stops you from hitting him again. "I nearly fell over."

"Never," he insists. "You would have been fine anyway. The jacket goes all the way up to your ears."

"Give me one of Han's next time," you grumble, even as you pull the coat closer around you.

Chan's smile is beatific. "You think Hannie ever does laundry?"

"Disgusting," you say, with a face to match, and then you walk right into the group gathering by the door before he can expand on that thought anymore.

"What's disgusting?" Seungmin asks.

You wave him away. "Han Jisung," you answer. "It's a long story."

He accepts it at face value, nodding it away. "What are you doing here?" he asks instead, head inclined towards your clothes.

"Walking you home, apparently." You pause, glancing at Chan. "I was bullied."

"Are you saying goodbye to the others, or are you coming back?" Chan asks sweetly, ignoring every word you said.

"I'm coming back," you sigh. "I have to see the end of the movie."

"But not the middle?" Seungmin snorts.

"It's a bad movie," Chan advises, and then follows him out the door. You walk with them, cramming into the elevator once the rest of them are in. It's snug, with six of you, and too warm for the thick coats you're dressed in - but just as you start to sweat, you step outside into the frigid night and forget all about the elevator and its false summer, instead hudding down into your collar for warmth.

"Do you miss home yet?" Felix asks behind you, watching you grabbing at the warmth still left in your body.

You slow a little to let him catch up, eyes on the backs of the boys walking in front of you. "Just the summers," you answer wryly. "Winter sucks."

Felix laughs, pushing his beanie further down with one hand. "I like it," he admits. "Snow on Christmas? Come on."

"What's the point when it's too cold to go out anyway?" you throw back. "At least in the summer you can go out for Christmas. Go swimming or something."

Felix's mouth twists thoughtfully, his eyes getting that faraway look that says he's thinking of some other place than the wide street you're walking down. "Now I want to go to the beach," he sighs. "Mum said it was so hot in Sydney today, it would have been perfect."

"It rained for a little while in Melbourne," you say, and he laughs. "I think it was nice though. My grandparents flew over for the first time this year."

Felix glances at you in surprise. "You have family in Korea?"

"They live in Busan," you explain. "I don't really know them very well. They came for the In Life concert, didn't you see them?"

"No?" He puts on a show of helplessness, his hands spreading wide. "You didn't come and introduce them?"

"No?" you answer. "They took me out to dinner, and then we had filming or something on the day after, so they went home."

Felix blows out a sigh, shaking his head again. "You could have invited us to dinner. I want to meet your family."

You wave him away. "It's not a big deal," you insist. "Seriously, I hardly talk to them. I saw them for like, the third time ever last Christmas, and they told me to go back to Australia and get a medical degree instead of trying to be an idol."

"I hope Christmas with us was better than that."

"Nearly as good as going home," you say, and grin wildly at the offended look on his face, his mouth curving into a perfect 'O'. "My mum taught me how to cook lamb over the phone in the middle of her day, you know. What did you do for me today?"

"I didn't try to help you with the lamb," Felix throws back, quick as a whip. "And I told you how nice it was, so many times."

"True," you admit, and listened to the sound of his laugh rising in the still air. Your eyes turn upwards, to the shadow of his building towering over you. "Are you saying this was better than going home to Sydney then?"

Felix's mouth twists. "No," he says, very slowly, as you join the others at their door. You try to bite back your smug grin, a thousand retorts springing to mind that you've run out of time to say. Not that Felix looks like he's won anyway, his face wry as he turns to the others' conversation rather than trying to continue this one.

"Lixie," Seungmin says as you complete their circle, saving him from crushing defeat. "Minho wants to go to Jeju in summer."

"Do we have holiday time in summer?" Felix asks.

"We'll just run away," Minho answers, and offers nothing more than a stone-cold poker face to indicate if he is joking or not.

"Or," Seungmin tacks onto the end. "If we're being serious, we'll just ask to film something."

The look Minho gives him would be withering, if you didn't know that it was only an empty threat. "I'm being serious," he insists, and only cracks a smile when Seungmin rolls his eyes and Chan places a hand on his shoulder, barely holding in a laugh.

"I would love to go to Jeju," Felix says wistfully, and then turns to you. "What about Y/N?"

"She doesn't get a choice," Seungmin says. "Forced vacation."

"Why am I being forced?" you ask. "I can choose to go on vacation."

"Vacation to the company doesn't count," I.N puts in, and enough of them snigger that you don't bother arguing with them.

"Fine, okay," you sigh, ducking your head and waving a hand. "Merry Christmas, goodnight now. Nice to see you."

"Merry Christmas, Y/N," Seungmin says smugly, his hand ruffling your beanie before heading inside. The others follow; Minho with a smile, I.N a small comment where they can't hear. Felix hugs you, and then throws his arm around Chan's shoulders for a moment and gets dragged into hugging him too before he can disappear, I.N closing the door behind him with one last wave.

Suddenly, the street seems very wide and quiet, the night stretching out around you with nothing to break it apart.

"Can I walk you home?" a voice asks by your side, and you turn to see Chan standing beside you still, one hand outstretched in offering.

"Weren't you always walking me home?" you answer; though you take his hand anyway, savouring the close of his fingers around yours even through the sleeve of your jacket.

"I wouldn't want to assume anything," he says, and bites back a grin. Your hand thumps his shoulder, just hard enough to make a sound. "Don't hit me, it's Christmas. I'm being polite."

"Mhm." You nod, your hand falling back by your side. He squeezes the fingers of your other hand, only enough to make you aware of his grip. "You're always polite, of course. Never making fun of me."

"Never," he agrees readily. "I wouldn't do that to you."

"I bet you say that to all the girls."

He looks at you out of the corner of his eye, his mouth turning upwards. "What other girls?" he questions, as innocent as anything. In the half-light between street lamps, you think you can see his ears turning red, and you struggle to hold back a laugh.

"What about all the ones you're going to see tomorrow?" you say; and maybe the others were right, when your thoughts turn immediately from Christmas back to work, to the looming performance and the fans that oversee it.

"Oh, them?" Chan looks off high into the distance, as if mulling over the thought. "I can be mean to them. It's totally different. You can be mean to them too, if you want."

"They only just started being nice to me like, this morning," you tell him. "Now isn't the time to start playing games."

"Really?" His eyes light up, the playfulness of his smile vanishing.

You nod along, unable to stop the wry smile that is plastered to your face. "In the livestream comments," you say. "I mean, there was still the whole awards boycott thing going around, but...I don't know. People were actually acting like I'm a part of the group? It's like, a Christmas miracle or something."

He falls silent for several seconds, his eyes silently studying your face. You can't quite meet the intensity of his gaze, your own eyes dropping to your entwined hands, swinging between you as you walk. He's thinking hard about something; time passes, your footsteps crunching in the snow and the buzz of car engines on a nearby street the only noise that permeates the air between you, and still he doesn't speak.

"What are you looking at?" you ask when you can't bear it anymore, your gaze creeping up to meet the corner of his and then focusing on the road ahead of you instead.

"Nothing." With a jolt, he suddenly realises he is staring and glances away, searching for anything else to look at. "You seem happy, that's all."

It takes you a moment to answer, carefully considering the emotion that wells up in your gut. "I am, today," you answer. "It...I don't know. The performances this month have been good, the fans were happy today. It feels like something might change now."

"Good," he says, and smiles - small, but more soft and genuine than the amusement that had shone loudly from his face earlier. "I've been worried about you."

A scoff chokes itself in your throat. "I know," you manage to say, around the stone that lodges itself there. "I've been worried about you worrying about me."

His feet stutter in their tracks, his grip tugging on your hand as he saves his balance. "What are you worried about me for? Don't do that."

"Someone has to, don't they?" you say. "I see you spending all that time looking out for me, I feel like I should at least try to give it back."

His head ducks, shy. "You don't have to do that. I like taking care of people."

"Didn't I tell you to stop worrying about me like, six months ago?"

"Something like that. I didn't listen."

"You shouldn't break your promises like that."

Chan squeezes your hand hard, his knuckles bumping against your hip. "You promised to stop practising so much too, you know."

The accusation stirs a memory of a conversation, much clearer than the one you'd been trying to dredge up. It's funny; you remember, just that short time ago, talking about things like debut and the company - and now you can't fathom feeling those same nerves anymore. The fear of being dropped from the company, the pressure from fans, the expectations set upon the group and therefore you as proxy...all of those are fears you're still familiar with, but a fear of Chan himself? When he lends you his jacket and walks hand-in-hand down the street, so slowly that it might take you all night to get home if you continue like this?

Never. Not again, not not that you know him properly. There's no one you would trust more in the world than him.

"I think we should forget about those promises," you announce. "I like my job. And I like you caring about me too."

"Really?" he asks, and you think, from the way that he eyes you, that you need to give the other boys a piece of your mind. Too many jokes about old age, one too many acts of pushing him away. Maybe you need to give him a piece of your mind too - for letting himself believe, even for the moment of doubt that flickers over his face, that you wouldn't really mean it.

"Yes, really," you reply, and try to refrain from the tiraded of emotion that threatens to spill out afterwards, all in the wrong tone of voice. "It's been really hard lately, you know, with everything - I mean, it's fine, but still. You're always there. I like that. The others are there too, but - even in the middle of the night, you're always there. It's nice."

As if on cue, your building appears in front of you as you finish speaking, looking out from between its neighbours. "How are we ever going to go to bed on time if we both like talking in the middle of the night?" Chan asks, pulling you to a stop before you can head for the door.

You find yourself shrugging, eager to linger. "Do we have to fix it?" you ask. "We're doing it right now, you know."

His mouth quirks. "Maybe tomorrow, then," he proposes. "Or we can just spend the rest of our lives only talking at midnight."

"I don't mind," you say with a shrug. "Midnight is a good time. Two AM is even better."

"I'll think about it."

He looks around, searching for something else to comment on, some way to keep the conversation going even when it feels like you have run out of things to talk about (except that you haven't, because you never could, because talking to him is so easy no matter what). In the corner of your eye, your door looms, calling you back to the warmth of his apartment and the quiet dark of your own - but his hand doesn't leave yours and his feet don't move, and even though you know it is stupid to be standing around like this in the snow, you can't bring yourself to let it go and bring on the end of night so suddenly. It's been such a nice day, and the walk home so warm, that you don't want to let it go, not until every second has been squeezed out of it.

There's still the movie, you remind yourself, thinking of Han sitting up there above your head watching, but your mouth doesn't say that. Instead, it asks, "Do you want to walk down to the corner store?"

You only realise later that Chan doesn't ever stop to ask why, or to complain about walking even further in the snow. In the moment, his smile consumes you, his feet automatically turning towards the store; and then again, you are immersed in your own world, stealing five more minutes from a night that cannot go on forever.

But for just this one night, you are happy. For just one night, you have something that is all yours.

Him.

TAGLIST

@kokinu09 @rainfallingfromthesky @lixie-phoria @mysweethannie @chlodavids

@hanniemylovelyquokka @tfshouldidohere @lauraliisa @puppysmileseungmin @kalopsian-thoughts

@puppy-minnie @readerofallthingss @dvbkie099 @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @acker-night

@d-chagi @lynlyndoll @borahae-reads @ihrtlix @yienmarkk

@minhwa @i2innie @jinnie-ret @conwunder @amesification

@starssongs98 @weirdhumanbeinglol @morinuu @the-weird-mold-in-the-sink @bokkiesplace

@amyyscorner @jiisungllvr @skzstaykatsy @blackhairandbangs @jungkookies1002

@hyuuukais @imsiriuslyreal @thatonedemigodfromseoul @gini143 @mercurywritesstuff

@splat00z @filmbypsh @palindrome969 @crabrangoongirl25 @enzos-shit

@jabmastersupriseee @kayleefriedchicken @hynjinswrld @duhgurl @cheshireshiya

@keepswingin

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dentos-wife · 2 days ago

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I have a different take; I don’t think anyone is a bad person per say if they shop at Hobby Lobby however like those who care more about their finances over other people’s rights (this election) they are also selfish for not considering it when there are easy alternatives to Hobby Lobby or chicken place but okay just don’t fish for sympathy points. I agree be silent about it but if you are willing to change your behavior then you can speak about it and be willing to learn the issue comes down to justifying literally everything and it feels like a knee jerk reaction to what I like to call the morally superior problem

Some things are much easier to stop than others do I raise my brows at how many can’t leave Twitter? Sure but I don’t think it makes them bad people because that’s a super slippery slope too I really think the internet has a judgement problem about being a good person vs a bad one. I also use Amazon still and because I do I look for alternatives in other ways to cut things out of my life.

But here’s where I’m going with this: what about Spotify? They’re just as bad we’ve known this since *Covid* days and it’s probably the easiest thing out of everything to drop with so many alternatives yet every year I see people who like to point out how great they are and patting themselves on the back for never using insert bad corporation here…excited about posting their Spotify wrapped. And it opened my eyes to how some people want to make certain things an exception because they use it and they’re good people.

So it to me poses a big question about if people actually care or if it’s a new way to shove how much better you are than others and show moral superiority over everyone else. And that’s still selfish and goes into this huge issue of judging people but making yourself the exception which helps no one. Frankly I think we should all work together and if people aren’t perfect encourage them instead of shaming them

Kicking a bit of a nest perhaps, but re: Hobby Lobby that knee-jerk ‘you’re not a bad person if you support this business’ response is frustrating to me. It goes straight to assuaging negative feelings instead of focusing on actions.

Like okay, you aren’t a bad person (?) solely for shopping at a store that funds anti-LGBT campaigns. But you are still helping them fund those campaigns by shopping there. They will not have an asterisk in their quarterly sales that says ‘we made more profit, but sadly some of this money is from people who oppose our views’. They will see an increase in sales and easily spin it as more people supporting EVERY part of their business and what it stands for.

I get that it’s not possible or easy to avoid every bad business. I still use Amazon. I still have a Twitter account. I can say I’m using it less and finding alternatives, that I know I should cut them entirely to send a message. But I don’t, haven’t. And I don’t see the benefit in making a public declaration about how I’m not a bad person for it, because by trying to make myself feel better I’m telling everyone else who feels the same way that they don’t need to examine their actions too closely either. It becomes more important to feel good about myself than to take good actions.

Being told ‘you enjoy the convenience of Amazon more than you oppose funding their business and political goals’ would be true for me, objectively. That honesty makes for some guilt, but that’s motivation for me to make better efforts, not just convince myself it’s okay when I do it, actually.

Or tbh if you really feel that guilty about being a ‘bad person’ for shopping somewhere but don’t intend to stop there’s always the option to just…not say anything! You can always keep it to yourself instead of making some hand-wringing confessional out of how you can’t help how much you like chicken sandwiches and hogwarts houses or whatever.

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ashleywool · 8 months ago

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face, diamonds, excitement, (magnetic resonance) image

I'm so excited to report that this Friday afternoon, I'm finally getting some new headshots taken...of the INSIDE of my head.

That's right, folks. After showing the lab work and pleading my case to the fine folks at the Friedman Center (and they really are terrific), ya girl finally got her brain/pituitary MRI approved.

Miraculously, I recovered from COVID ridiculously quickly. The symptoms resolved over a couple days, and I was already testing negative by Wednesday. Two more antigens and a PCR test later, I determined I'd be in the clear to be in my friend's wedding, although I still wore a mask--and the patron saints of Amazon search results blessed me with this set of KN95s, which included a bright blue one in the EXACT COLOR of my bridesmaid dress.

I never thought I'd be sitting here actively hoping to have a literal brain tumor, but between the fatigue, the listlessness, the lack of appetite, the stubborn and aggressive weight gain in spite of a lack of appetite, the fatigue, the significantly compromised immune system (this bout with COVID was my third weird viral infection in two months), the obnoxiously slow wound healing (there's a staple-scratch on my hand that's been there since March), the skin-thinning and skin-drying, and did I mention the fatigue...it sure would be great to have a straightforward answer and a clear path forward.

And, most importantly, it's the perfect excuse to be dramatic.

Just imagine the not-as-anonymous-as-they-think-they-are message board posts: "Ashley Wool teases a possible brain tumor as a last-ditch attempt to stay relevant in the Broadway world." "I heard she grew it on purpose just like those ovarian tumors." "Gurl well I heard the bitch was actually kicked out of Broadway Bares 'cause her autistic ass couldn't handle the noise." "Well I heard the bitch got hit by three zebras and a monkey. I can't stand the bitch no way."

Oh by the way, you can still donate to my Broadway Bares page and you totally should. The Friedman Center is a collaboration between Mount Sinai and the Entertainment Community Fund and is supported by grants from BC/EFA. We gotta pay it forward.

#broadway #endocrine weirdness #endocrinology #cushing syndrome #dramatic #you do know we see you right #we can see what you say about us on the internet #you just mad 'cause payless ran out of plastic pumps for the after party #yo by the way go get my cast recording

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summergoodwife · 1 month ago

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Gonna say it again, "Just stop consuming the genre" is THE WORST POSSIBLE RESPONSE to someone complaining about the lack of representation in their preferred genre!! And "Consume other stuff too" is not much better!!! I don't care how much you think varying media consumption is a Good and Holy lifestyle, not everyone wants to do that! There is no obligation to do that and there should not be! Because it's fucking entertainment. It's not a college major.

And! And and and. I would be remiss to not point out that when you tell someone, "If you want well written (minority) just get out of (genre fandom)" you are, regardless of your motivations, rhetorically aligning yourself with the exact same bigots who just want the pro-representation crowd to shut up and go away.

#I don't know how people can say “shonen is written for teen boys so obviously you're the idiot for wanting good rep from it”#as if teen boys don't also deserve stories with well-written diverse casts??#as if the poor reactions they often have to diversity are just inherent to their boyish nature and not a result of a widespread lack of rep #as if diverse casts in popular media aren't A PROVEN WAY to reduce implicit biases against groups of people on a very large scale #you people are dogs. how can you unironically say “this genre was made for teen boys so everyone else should stfu and gtfo”#and not immediately see that you've just aligned yourself with the actually bad people in the fandom #these stances also perfectly miss the point of “I love this genre and want to see a flaw in it corrected” because they are overwhelmingly..#...written by people who do not love the genre in question and are not interested in loving the genre #like yeah ultimately I understand that most of these posts don't give a true shit about helping people find rep in media #their main purpose 99% of the time is to publicly gloat about their supposedly superior media fixations #It's a real autism on autism violence (internet style) so I find it contemptible in a way that pulls all the muscles of my face downwards #“haw haw read another book (the ones I incidentally find engaging) and stop reading your dumb idiot books (the ones you find engaging)”#you can actually shut up tho that's the thing #you can just not say anything and make the world a better place Luigi Marioparty style #it's a wonderful strategy to use #if you've read through all these tags then 1. I thank you and 2. I have a little request if you're willing to give me more thought & time:#try to pay close attention the next few times you're talking about broad media fandoms which you aren't a part of #watch those little twinges in your chest and ask yourself #“is what I'm saying true? do I actually know enough to say that? what is the point of what I'm saying here? what do I want these ppl to do?#I think we all get caught up in Media Gloating sometimes #if you find that your thoughtless comments become concerning after you put thought into them #maybe it's time to not make them #or to even (as a totally random example) make a post arguing AGAINST those comments #because guess what? your bad take there was probably not yours alone; I'd wager 1000 other similar people have made similar takes #but they're not all gonna reflect on that unprompted; that's where you can come in #shonen #lgbtq representation #female representation #representation in media #queer representation

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sanicsmut · 9 months ago

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people : its important to be inclusive, yes even of identities you don't understand ! support he/him lesbians !

these same people when its about using multiples contradictory labels because identity is complicated and fluid : if you support this you're actually evil

#i support he/him lesbians btw #but just #just learn the history of your own fucking label before saying such bullshit online #and in your dni lmao #stop being chronically online #yes its about mspec lesbians #JUST LEARN ABOUT LESBIAN HISTORY IM BEGGING YOU #you cant be political about lesbianism and act like you know whats good or not for the community #while simultaneously ignoring lesbian history #thats not how it works you dont get to pick and choose whats real or not #mspec lesbians have existed since the beginning and its only on the internet that people started acting like theyre not valid or whatever #btw being bi doesn't inherently mean liking men and women<3 #lesbianism in the most common definition I see (liking women and non-binary people) IS an identity under the bi umbrella.#like im sorry but if you think it isnt like #do you think enby people are just randomly included in all orientations just because you dont know where to put them?#are we like a bonus so your label can be considered inclusive?#you can not be attracted to nb people like imagine being a lesbian against mspec lesbians and say “uh they want to impose men in lesbianism #then say you like women and enby people when non binary is such a big umbrella that can include people who identify partially as men #like what do you do then?#nb doesnt inherently means agender or partially woman you know?#i just think its important to think about these things before saying nonsense ^v^#youre free to use the label you want of course and youre free to be lesbian and say youre attracted to women and non binary people but just #dont say such stupid thing if its your case #because its not coherent

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wildflowercryptid · 1 year ago

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something that's been weighing on my mind ever since learning about the situation with ezra / toonimal is seeing how these predators will take the active hostility that is frequently directed towards minors in online spaces to their advantage and use it to prey on vulnerable children. i think that we as adults in online fandom should probably come together and maybe rethink the language / manner we go about interacting with kids bc clearly the way things are rn is causing active harm.

like obviously, if you're an adult and aren't comfortable with minors interacting with you or your content, you should be allowed to set that boundary and should be vocal about it, ( especially if the content you create isn't safe for them to consume. ) but i don't think talking to them like they're a blight on all that is good and holy is the way to go about it. maybe just saying you're an 18 plus account will suffice, you don't have to tell them to fuck off.

#i'm opening myself up for ppl to leave the stupidest takes on this post but whatever i need to get this off my mind #before anyone says anything about the kids on that website. they're grooming victims. they're literally kids being taken advantage of #show them some fucking kindness and be understanding that they're the victims in this situation #idk what it is about becoming an adult that causes so many ppl to lose their empathy towards minors it's weird #like yeah kids can be annoying and pushy on online spaces sometimes but a lot of them are old enough to know online etiquette lbr #alot of us were annoying kids on the internet at some point we should understand that you don't just. get a handbook for how to act online #that's shit you learn overtime but ppl seem to forget that #they also seem to forget that talking down to kids isn't gonna teach them shit they're not gonna listen to you if you treat them like idiots #what i'm trying to say is that we really need to talk to minors more respectfully and maybe give them a little grace #( obviously there will be situations where some of them need to be yanked up by the collar but there's ways to go about that >>>#without treating them like shit )#these kids need to know that there's spaces for them to be online safely without having to stumble into places that'll pray on them #we all know how much it sucked to be a kid online we should want better for the ones coming in after us ya know #sorry if this comes across as preachy it just breaks my heart and boils me blood to see kids being taken advantage of like this #especially when there's ways to prevent it idk #how do i even tag this....#mj.txt #there's trigger warning on the linked post btw #tw csa mention

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random0lover · 1 year ago

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I hate men and their need to act like any emotional reactions you have while you’re on your period is just you being “hormonal” and “not yourself”

(Rant in tags)

#like sorry I’m actually defending myself rather than just letting you talk shit about me directly infront of me??#when I’m on my period I tend to show more of my real emotions rather than what people want to see so yeah #but the conversation I was having with my brother was fine- I wasn’t talking to him in any way #he asked me about the monster that I had because like an hour or two ago he asked me not to throw it away since it’s one with the cod #qr code thing on it and he asked me if I threw it away and I said “no it’s not empty right now it’s infront of the microwave” and right #after my dad jumps in saying nobody needs to take offense to how I’m talking or how I’m being? when I didn’t say anything in any way? like #my brother didn’t even have the time to respond to me before he jumped in and started indirectly talking shit #I’m so done right now- all he’s done the last few days is nit pick at me about stupid shit like yesterday we missed the our bus stop and we #get off and this man starts yelling at me that now he doesn’t get to eat (mind you he never explicitly said he wanted to get off at that #stop I thought we were just going directly home)- he constantly says shit on purpose to get a rise out of me and now for some reason my #brother (the one that is 17) has been budding in and telling me to stfu and all this shit and my dad feeds off it and uses it as more of a #reason to justify how he’s treating me and it’s just so upsetting cause he does know I’m in a more vulnerable time right now since my period #is always really difficult anyways really sorry for the rant don’t have any friends I can talk to irl about any of this so to the internet #it goes 🙃#random0lover emotional dumps #random0lover rambling ♡

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napoftustar · 1 month ago

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so the moon of the day my older brother was born was a waning gibbous and mine was a waxing crescent... they complete each other and when they do they become a full moon... and the funny thing is.. the day my mother was born there was a full moon...

#what is this...#that’s so romantic hwelp. how did you do that mother hahfnnewjdkcjkdnggjkd 🥺😔#we were just talking about the phases of the moon and suddenly i wanted to learn how was the moon when i was born fnrnejdjkdmcjf #and then it led to here. crescent might be my fav moon phase🥺 it’s also because like... yk i’m turkish hahdhfnwhqjddmkwkfjjf #(we have a crescent moon and a star on our flag in case you didn’t know->🇹🇷)#(wait it’s waning crescent not waxing but still‚ it’s the same in turkish fhrnenwjskksnfh)#(also the translation of crescent in turkish is also a name which i love‚ ‘hilal’🥺)#it says on the internet besides the meaning of ‘crescent’ hilal also means ‘shiny‚ to brighten up’ ... when people see crescent moon again #after the new moon‚ the phase that moon disappears a while‚ they used to shout in excitement all around and tell each other that the #moon is back? and that can explain why the crescent moon is named after a word also means something shiny / something that brings happiness #because seeing moon again brought them happiness at that time🥺#i don’t know if that’s really true or not? but it says so and there are similar words (shiny‚ praising‚ celebrating..) with the same origin #and i also thought that was cute! like yes. name moon after those shiny meanings‚ that’s what she deserves #end of my moon journey‚ 긑!#(we thank to beomgyu btw cuz it all started with me remembering that to the question “what was the moon’s shape on the day txt debuted”#he answered with the correct answer within a second ahhfnrwnjskxjfh (...the answer is waning crescent) and i wondered mine too...)

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mayordeas-clone · 3 months ago

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saw a take that peeved me in the vocaloid feed on bluesky but i don’t wanna be confrontational there + my thoughts are too powerful for a 300 character per post thread so im making it tumblr’s problem

due to my intense vsynth brainworms this is going to sound incredibly pedantic and annoying which is why i am posting it here okay here we go

the post was sort of a ‘callout’ of a creator who uses synthv for covers of fnf songs or whatever. the general body was like “they write their own lyrics but they make the vocals using ai with a program called synthesizer v” (the implication being, “this person is an ai-using fraud, don’t support them”)

if ur in the community or like have a little bit of an idea of how ai is associated with synthv specifically this is a nonsense uninformed take (the ‘ai’ training is used for autotuning/cross language synthesis/some other shit idk but the point is it’s not the type of ai that like, writes the melody/lyrics for you and is voiced from random samples from unknowing providers but i’ll get back to this later)

ai is mentioned on synthv’s website (also vocaloid’s much to the detriment of news articles that report on hatsune miku) so it’s a common misunderstanding, whatever. it would be nice if people actually looked into the ways ai works in vsynth at least a little bit but in an age where artists are on the defense against the ai boogeyman i guess i sorta understand the knee jerk reaction to assume the ai in vsynth software like synthv is the Bad kind. annoying, but nothing new.

but i think what made this post rotate in my mind to the point of crystallizing into unnecessary rage is an add-on that was like “i just prefer my music to be sung by real people!” followed by “by the way, vocaloid isn’t ai, so no you’re not bad if you like hatsune miku music”

ohhh man this actually did piss me off a little cuz wow way to really shout to the heavens that you have no damn clue what you’re talking about

firstly, i COMPLETELYYYY understand that the premise and general sound of vocal synth music is not for everyone. the computerized words, the unrealism, or even the fact that it’s not an actual person singing, like whatever that’s fine i get it. but like you can’t go around and be like “by the way vocaloid [aka hatsune miku] is chill don’t worryyyy” bc that line of thinking from my understanding doesn’t really make sense? miku isn’t a real person either 😭😭 her latest release even uses ai! (at least i think it does cuz vocaloid 6 has ai support but idk i guess that doesn’t matter) does she just get a free pass cuz she’s an internet darling?

miku is a piece of software where you write the midi for her vocals and input the lyrics so a slurry of samples recorded by saki fujita can be played back in an in-character singing voice. synthv is a piece of software with similar character voice databases where you do the same thing, write a midi and input lyrics so a database’s voice samples put it all together to sing back. the inclusion of ai in this process is to streamline the workflow for the user to automatically work out the pitch transitions between notes to save on time manually tuning, creating a more realistic playback. this ai, perhaps merely the inclusion of these two letters in the proximity of synthv’s marketing, is what makes synthv both Significantly Different and Inferior to miku.

the lack of ai with vocaloid (as far as op knew, cuz need i remind you vocaloid as of its 6th installment uses similar ai to synthv lol) making it Better than synthv sent the implication, TO ME, that op thinks that the ai used in synthv is the type that like, takes samples from other people without their permission to create the voices (then leading to the “i just want my songs sung by REAL people” aka not sung by dubiously gathered samples). i recognize this means of creating ai voices to impersonate other people and make them say things they should not without their knowledge or permission is CERTAINLY bad but like that’s not how any of this works if we’re talking synthv (you could argue this applies to those utau banks that make voicebanks for like sonic the hedgehog and shit but those usually sound like ass and are about as convincing as a sentence mixed youtube poop). maybe that’s not what they meant (i don’t wanna dig up the post cuz i don’t wanna be bothered and it’s probably gonna piss me off to the point of starting something which i don’t want) but based on my understanding of their point this is like. wholly untrue. in fact synthv voicebanks (particularly those from eclipsed sounds whose terms of service are free to read on their website) have special terms specifically designed to protect the voice providers of their databases BECAUSE of the extra realism in their voices (terms such as, “you can’t credit any voice work done with Solaria to Emma Rowley [her voice provider] or anyone else besides the software itself” in the case Solaria is used to say something objectionable and cast it on Rowley, that would be a breach of the terms and might even get your license revoked). shit like that is likely what people who are afraid of ai voices expect to happen but there were contracts signed to protect and inform the voice providers of what their vocal likeness is being used for + compensation paid to them for their work providing vocal samples SPECIFICALLY for this product. and ofc miku is the same. ITS THE SAME. BUT MIKU IS A FUNNY INTERNET MEME SO SHES FINE. GRRRRR!!!!!!

#mayor talk #IM SORRRYYY i’m so insufferable with this shit #what a 4 year consistent attachment to a niche ass music subculture does to a mf #don’t seek out op if you find the post etc etc i have fought in the internet argument trenches and im NOT doing it again #i might find the post to block them tho. nothing personal kid but you have awakened my wrath #anyway i mentioned in the post but i GET the defensiveness against the mention of ai in association with art and music #vsynth on the surface sounds like it’s perpetuating this ai rise. ‘oh i didn’t have a real person sing it i used software to do the singing #for me so i could save on hiring a vocalist’ [vocaloid being an alternative to hiring a vocalist per hour is a legitimate selling point]#i can see people who sing or do music or appreciate either bristling at that. ‘a computer sung this? hm��..’#i try to say it out loud and i feel like i’d piss people off! but as we know the difference in workload + sound makes it less black and whit #it’s just. frustrating to see people immediately assume the worst whether they’re talking about synthv or miku. :[#on the flip side it’s also annoying seeing people argue for the difference between generated ai vocals and vocaloid by saying #‘vocaloid is not only different but BETTER and MORE VALUABLE bc it’s hard to use/you have to do it yourself’#yes gen ai and vocaloid demand different workloads and learning curves but uh nooo please don’t say that #please don’t imply that art only has value or goodness depending on how much an artist suffered to make it noooooo

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